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Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually
she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a nun, called on her while
she was sleeping.
"Tell me, Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When girl did not stir, little Johnny, sitting behind her, took his pencil
and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, "Very good" and
continued teaching the class.
A little later she asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?". Mary
did not stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and
stuck her in the butt with the pencil again.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very
good" and girl went back to sleep.
Later, the Nun asked her a third question... "What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty third child?" .
Again, Johnny helped. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you
stick that damn thing in me one more time, I will break it in half!"
The nun fainted....
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Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, sitting quietly
and drinking beer.
Very quietly, so as not to scare the fish, one says: " I think I 'm going to
divorce my wife; she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 month"
The other friend, slowly sipping his beer, thoughtfully says, "You better
think it over. Women like that are hard to find".
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A Man goes into a cocktail lounge an approaches a woman sitting by herself:
Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"
Woman: "No, thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs".
Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
Woman: " No, they spread"
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